The Hooch Life

The Right Cocktails for 10 Real-Life Situations

Man at the bar
Photo by Sheila Griffin

Sometimes, the cocktail you order is just as important as the way you are dressed. It says something about you, about what you like and how you feel. Whether you’re trying to impress your boss or get yourself geared up for happy hour, we’ve got the perfect cocktail for you.

Drinks with your boss
This is the perfect opportunity to order something interesting, a conversation-starter that your boss will remember. Warning, if you are too good at ordering cocktails, you may be called upon to organize the office Christmas party. Show off with a Vieux Carré.

After-work drinks with co-workers
Chances are that you like some of your co-workers but not all of them. Even if you wouldn’t choose to be friends with these people outside the office, you still have to hang out with the group (teamwork, camaraderie, blah blah blah). For that, you need a stiff drink that gets you in the mood to fake laugh at that one guy’s lame jokes. Order a Dark and Stormy.

Night out with someone special
It’s just the two of you. You’re laughing and smiling, maybe even holding hands across the table. Everyone else in the bar kind of wants to be you guys right now. You want a cocktail that is effortless and sparkling. Sip a French 75.

Just broke up
Damn, you guys broke up? You’re sad and feeling a little adrift at the moment (or maybe you’re relieved). Now may not be the best time to get crazy, but you need to take the edge off the situation. Drink a Whiskey Sour or two.

Happy hour with friends
This is as close as adults can come to that euphoric feeling of being a kid hearing the 3 p.m. bell ring on a Friday afternoon. You’re free! This calls for a drink that will shake off the workday doldrums and put a smile on your face. Buy a round of Alabama Slammers.

Start of a long night out
Your best friend is visiting from out of town (yay!) and your evening is packed. First, you’re having drinks at the neighborhood bar. Next to a house party, then there is a bar down the street with Big Buck Hunter, and after that you’re going to a late-night spot where your favorite DJ is spinning. Don’t get sloshed too early. Start with a Tom Collins.

Random Tuesday night
You don’t feel like going home after work, and you’re too lazy to go to the gym. Instead, grab a friend or two and head out to the bar. No expectations or pressure tonight, so it’s the perfect time to try something new. Ask for a bartender’s choice.

Drinks with your in-laws
Oh man, you don’t want your in-laws to think you’re a total boozer, but you could really use a little social lubricant right about now. You’ve exhausted the topic of unseasonable weather conditions, so what now? It’s time for a classic Manhattan.

Home alone
Feeling mellow? Chill? Not in the mood to deal with other people? Turn on your favorite guilty-pleasure movie (mine is definitely NOT The Last Action Hero), and make yourself a dude-approved White Russian.

You’re on vacation
“Oh what the heck, I’m on vacation.” That’s right, vacation is a legitimate excuse to eat and drink all you want, and to do stupid stuff like jump off a cliff into murky water just because those other scantily clad people did it, too. Go crazy on the Hurricanes.

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The Hooch Life Guide to American Whiskey